


A Lesson About Loss

by cityscaping



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Character Study, Doctor/Patient, Gen, Haikyuu!! Manga Spoilers, Inspired by Grey's Anatomy, Post-Time Skip, Shirabu learns how to FEEL
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-09
Updated: 2020-10-09
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:01:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26912569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cityscaping/pseuds/cityscaping
Summary: [ONE SHOT] In which Shirabu Kenjirou, a mere medical intern in a hospital who had no business getting dragged into his patient's lives, found himself befriending a dying teenager who taught him a lesson about loss and hope.
Relationships: Shirabu Kenjirou & Ushijima Wakatoshi, Shirabu Kenjirou/Ushijima Wakatoshi, Ushijima Wakatoshi & Schweiden Adlers
Kudos: 14





	A Lesson About Loss

**Author's Note:**

> a/n: so yes, since finding out shirabu would become a doctor eventually and added with watching medical drama in quarantine, the idea for this fic hit me like a truck. it was no secret that this one shot is heavily inspired by my sister's keeper and a dash of grey's anatomy. oh shirabu, you really sealed your fate by choosing to be a doctor

The hardest thing that Shirabu Kenjirou learned from med school was not absorbing the materials, although the modules on neurology did almost kill him (figuratively, of course). But it was to watch the patients decided to give up when there was a clear pathway to victory against the disease that was killing them slowly.

And unlike in his volleyball club days, he was powerless to do anything about it.

“I refuse to receive the kidney from my sister!” Takagi Katarina, the seventeen-year-old patient, yelled as she flailed her hands to make her point. “Please, I beg you, I'm a lost cause, and Ari-chan doesn't deserve to go through another surgery just to save me.”

Dr. Sakashita, the attending surgeon that Shirabu was here to learn from, merely stayed silent. “Takagi-san, you're still seventeen years old. That decision is not yours to make, but it is your parents.”

Shirabu felt his hands twitched as he held the brown board filled with the patient's medical history. As a medical intern, he was here to watch and learn, not to intervene when he was not asked to.

Takagi Katarina was a teenaged girl who was diagnosed with leukemia when she was three years old. She spent her whole life inside the hospital ward. Her parents decided to go through In Vitro fertilization to conceive a savior sibling to provide Katarina tissues, compatible organs, blood, anything to buy her another time in the world.

Arisu, the said younger sister, was standing beside her bed with their parents. Her face was devoid of any emotion, so unlike her spirited yet sick older sister. The only thing that gave her away to Shirabu was the balled fists on her side.

“Rina, your sister has agreed to go through the procedure.”

Honestly, watching family drama unfolded every time he was around when the attending doctor informed the family depleted him of the energy he needed to go through the grueling shift for the day. No teachers in med school taught him or his peers how to deal with this, the undoubtedly hardest part of being a doctor.

Sometimes he wondered what Ushijima-san would do in his position. Shirabu cringed at his thoughts. Nah, as much as he admired Ushijima-san, his lack of tact in approaching life beyond volleyball made it hard for Shirabu to imagine him as anything but a pro athlete.

“Have you ever asked Arisu, oka-san?”

Of course, they hadn't, Shirabu thought to himself. As a future doctor, of course, he wanted to see patients win against the disease that took away the patients' freedom to live their life. But with the Takagi family and Katarina herself, victory was not as clear cut as smashing the ball into the opponent's court.

The mother gasped and stepped back as if she could not believe Katarina's words.

“Rina, apologize to your mother!”

That's it, Shirabu could not take it anymore. He shifted his head to Dr. Sakashita, who only nodded while seeing his intentions written all over his face.

He had learned enough for today, and maybe a break was all he needed to survive this shift.

***

“Hey.”

Shirabu continued to check the patient's vitals on the monitor and made some notes.

“Uh, excuse me, are you deaf?”

Now that tone earned his ire. Looking up, he saw Takagi Katarina, who was wearing a cheeky smile despite herself even though she might not survive into the next year stuck in the hospital for the rest of her life.

“Yes?” Kenjirou responded calmly. He only kept his cool due to years of med school had taught him to deal with irritable people, especially during exam week. And the fact he didn't want to lose his internship over dealing with an irritating patient. “Is there anything that I can help you with?”

“I'm bored, talk to me. About anything.”

“That is not my job.”

Crap, he could feel his temper rising. Usually, he was a pretty composed person, the only one who could rile him up was his junior Goshiki Tsutomu back in his high school days. But Katarina here reminded him a little bit of someone. A particular short orange haired dude who was currently one of the wing spikers for the MSBY Black Jackals team.

Ugh, he had rooted for Ushijima-san in that match. Swallowing down his ire, Shirabu looked into Katarina, who still kept her smile.

To humor this sick teenage girl, Shirabu decided to play along. “Well, what are your hobbies?”

“If I'm not sick and confined to this bed, I'll probably be going to play volleyball. I'm a HUGE FAN for the MSBY Black Jackals! Did you watch their match versus Schweiden Adlers at the beginning of the season? That was so cool! And to think that they wiped the floor—”

”—nee-chan!”

Shirabu was grateful for Takagi Arisu's interruption. He would certainly voice his opinions about the match and probably got into a petty and heated argument over the sport he used to play in high school with a dying teen. Ushijima-san should've won, or maybe that was just Kenjirou's admiration that sort of, kind of, crossed into another gray area that was talking.

“Arisu, aren't you supposed to be in school?”

“No, classes ended earlier because everyone wanted to watch the Inter-High competition,” Arisu answered. “I chose not to go because I wanted to be here for my nee-chan.”

“I'm pretty sure that a gym full of screaming people in the bleachers is not healthy for a dying person like me.”

“Nee-chan, don't you dare to say that!”

It took Kenjirou solid five seconds to realize that Takagi Arisu was wearing the very same uniform (only female version) he had worn in his high school days.

“Shiratorizawa, huh,” he muttered to himself, wondering what the universe was telling him.

“Eh, I recognized you,” Arisu suddenly said, giving Shirabu a once-over with her keen eyes. “You're part of the past volleyball club, eh? Your batch's team photos are often used for the promotional posters and believe me, and I'm in the yearbook club, so I know.”

Flabbergasted, Kenjirou almost dropped his clipboard, but his reflexes saved him the embarrassment of fumbling in front of the Takagi sisters. “Uh...yeah.”

“Then you must know Ushijima Wakatoshi, the current wing spiker for Schweiden Adlers, right?” The excited glint in Arisu's eyes made her look so much like her sister. Only that Arisu was fangirling over the opposite team.

“Yeah, I do, he is the best Ace I've ever played with.”

“My sister here is a fan of Schweiden Adlers,” Katarina said softly as she patted the spot on her bed while looking at Shirabu. “She and I are opposites. I'm sick, and she's not. I will be a sporty girl, while Arisu here doesn't like anything related to physical activity. A studious nerd,” Katarina affectionately pinched Arisu's face, who yelped from the impact.

Shirabu stayed quiet, listening. He may never master the skill of handling patients' meltdown or their reaction in general to the bad news they had to hear, but he could offer a pair of listening ears.

“I wanted her to live the life beyond the notion that she exists solely to save me,” Katarina finally said it, the conviction in her voice somehow startled Kenjioru. “Ne, intern-san.”

“I have a name, and you know that.”

Katarina squinted her eyes to see the name tag hanging down Shirabu's neck. “Ah, Shirabu Kenjirou.”

Shirabu only grumbled, wondering why the heck he was not leaving right after he completed his shift duty by checking on her vitals and making sure she did not die.

“You know that every single day that I lived might be the last, right?”

Dr. Sakashita had informed that if Katarina did not undergo the transplant surgery, she only had a few months left. Not even Kenjirou had the heart to confirm it verbally.

“So, I want to ask you a favor,” Katarina announced, prompting Arisu, who was scowling at her sister, to blink. “Especially since you know Ushijima-san and an alumnus of my sister's school, Shiratorizawa Academy.”

“Nee-san, what are you planning?” Arisu asked, her voice was careful and full of caution. She turned to Shirabu and bowed her head slightly. “I'm sorry, don't listen to her. She had crazy ideas of wanting to meet the Musubi Jackals player before she died, while she's not going to die anytime soon.”

“Ari-chan, please leave me alone with Shirabu-san for a moment.”

“Nee-san!”

“You wouldn't deny your dying sister her wishes, right?”

Arisu grumbled as she bowed her head at Shirabu and walked out of the room.

Katarina heaved a sigh as she stared into Kenjirou's eyes. “I want to ask you for a favor. I know, I am annoying and probably going to die anytime soon, but—”

”—you're not going to die,” Shirabu interrupted. Every opinion and words he had held into a bottle regarding the Takagi family somehow spilled out into those words. “At least not under my watch.”

Katarina looked into Shirabu's eyes, holding his gaze as a smile broke out on her face. “Okay, now that's clear, I want to ask you a favor. My sister is a huge fan of Ushijima-san and I know I am cashing in my cancer patient wishes privilege that this hospital provided as a sorry gift for a dumb wish like this. But I want to at least meet one of the V-League players before I die. It doesn't have to be the Musubi team, even though I would literally die if I saw Hinata Shoyo in person. Might as well be Ushijima-san or the Adlers, just so that Arisu can also share this with me. I've stolen so many chances from her to live a normal life, this is the only thing I can do for her. Please.”

Kenjirou was stunned in silence, for once he was out of words. The determination on Katarina's eyes. After several moments of heavy silence, Kenjirou broke it with a sigh and nodded. “Fine, I'll see what I can do and tell Dr. Sakashita. I hope if the hospital can't comply to your wishes, but don't expect me to use my personal connection to Ushijima-san!”

“I wouldn't dare to,” Katarina answered, but there was a knowing glint on her eyes that literally made Shirabu wanted to roll his eyes.

***

As Shirabu informed Dr. Sakashita of his patient's wish to make use of the three wishes program for the cancer patients under the age of eighteen, his attending doctor scrunched his nose but nodded. He said that he would tell the hospital director to arrange everything.

It would be a lot of hassle though, given that the Schweiden Adlers club was one of the top V-League team in division 1 string. Not to mention that the player who would be doing this cancer visit may not even be Ushijima-san.

Kenjirou still crossed his fingers though. Today was the scheduled day for the so called cancer visit event. His colleagues had snickered at how different he was today than usual. Hope flared in him and for once he did not kill it. If Katarina, who still had some fire in her even with all the odds stacked against her could still hope, so did he.

Dr. Sakashita informed him that the hospital director agreed and so did the PR team for Schweiden Adlers. They said that it would be great for the team's publicity, especially for the players, who weren't known to be as playful as the Musubi team.

Well if Kenjirou had to be honest, the Black Jackals team reminded him of circus. Chaotic and not refined. Shaking his head, Shirabu walked into Katarina's room to do his daily check of every patient's vitals.

“Shirabu-san,” Katarina called him as he was checking on her infusion tube. “Today is the day, isn't it?”

“Yes.”

“Aren't you excited to see Ushijima-san?”

Shirabu felt his cheeks reddened and he literally cursed inwardly at this teenager. If she wasn't dying, he would certainly snip right back at her just like he did to Goshiki all those years ago.

“Well, yeah, of course I am.”

“Hey, there is no room of judgment here. We want what we want,” Katarina said with a laugh. “I want to die so I can set my family free and you want to bone him!”

“Jesus, aren't you too young to say those words?” Finally, Shirabu's exasperation got better of his judgment.

“A dying girl gets a pass, Shirabu-san.”

“For someone who is informed only have months left to live, you surely joke a lot about death,” he snipped back at her.

Somehow ever since the moment, she asked him for a favor, Kenjirou and Katarina had developed this weird rapport. They argued about the best V-League team (of course she rooted for the Black Jackals) and he sided with Arisu who often visited when the sisters squabbled.

Somehow, Shirabu had unknowingly discarded all his rules to maintain a safe distance from his patients all due to this dying teenager. If she was healthy and safe, Kenjirou was more than certain she would be the ace that everyone could rely on. Just like Ushijima-san had been.

Somehow, Kenjirou had realized that he did not want Katarina to die. But it would be selfish, she was burdened by her parents' wishes to accept Arisu's kidney and they never listened to her wishes for Arisu to have a chance in normal life.

“Nee-san, holy shit!!” Arisu burst into the room, the excited energy rolled off her as she fought for her breath. “THEY ARE HERE! USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI IS HERE, ALONG WITH KAGEYAMA TOBIO, KOURAI HOSHIUMI AND BASICALLY EVERY SINGLE OF THE SCHWEIDEN ADLERS TEAM! NEE-SAN!!!!”

As Arisu leaped into Katarina's bed to give her a hug, their parents walked into the room. Behind them, a trail of tall and imposing volleyball players trickled into the room along with the camera crew who were there to document this cancer visit.

Kenjirou felt a trickle of irritation that Katarina's wish was somehow monetized by the PR team, but that was the essential of the cancer visit program. He knew that and yet...

Hirugami Fukuro, the captain of the Adlers team was the one who led his team into the room. Arisu was practically turned into a mush as she blushed and bowed at the team.

“Nuff—knife—nice to meet you all, I am a huge fan!” Arisu fumbled with her words.

“Nice to meet you, Katarina-san,” Hirugami greeted with a nice smile as he had his hands reached out.

Kenjirou, who was just supposed to be the bystander, was surprised as he heard a familiar voice calling his name. “Shirabu, you work here I see.”

It was Ushijima-san, who approached him while the rest of the team waited for their turn to interact with either Takagi sisters.

From the corner of his eyes, he could see Kourai was animatedly talking with Arisu while Nicolas Romero was taking a selfie with both Kageyama and Katarina. Kageyama smiled awkwardly and Romero held out the selfie stick. Hirugami was talking with the Takagi parents, who looked they were a little bit starstruck.

And in that very moment it hit Kenjirou that the reason Katarina had wished for the Schweiden Adlers team instead of the Black Jackals was not only for Arisu, but also for him. He wanted to snort ath Katarina's stupidly selfless move and could not deny the little bit of warmth blooming in his chest.

“Yeah, I'm the intern here, doing errands for patients like her every day,” Shirabu answered in the midst of his beating heart. Oh heart, please be still. “Ushijima-san...”

“Yes, Shirabu?”

“I...thank you, for having your team agreeing to this visit,” He sort of fumbled with his words but seeing his senpai in person after years left him a little bit unprepared. He had sort of missed the mini reunion as he did not attend the Adlers versus Musubi Black Jackals match. “It means a lot to them that you're here.” And I'm glad I can see you again.

“No problem, it is a part of the job after all. I'm glad to do it.”

Still as strait laced as ever, but Kenjirou could only smile hearing it. Even as a pro athlete, Ushijima-san still hadn't changed and it made him glad.

“Will she be okay?”

Kenjirou watched Kourai who was lecturing Katarina to still keep fighting and not letting the cancer won. If only the white haired wing spiker knew of Katarina's intention to die for her family.

“I hope so, Ushijima-san, I certainly hope so.”

They stayed in silence and when finally it was Ushijima and Fukuro's turn to take a picture with Katarina, Kenjirou finally mustered the courage.

“Ushijima-san!”

He turned his head to him, waiting for what he wanted to say. “I think if she's healthy, she would make a great ace like you did too. She said she would play volleyball if she's healthy. You should totally say that to her.”

Beats of silence passed by and Ushijima-san smiled. Not the awkward smile that the volleyball magazines took photo of him after interviews, but the kind smile that got Kenjirou's heart beat a little bit faster. Genuine and kind.

“Shirabu, don't embarrass me,” Katarina exclaimed as she blushed.

As Ushijima's smile morphed back into the weirdly teethy awkward one (he somehow forgotten how to smile when there was a camera on sight) as he prepared to get his photo taken, Katarina's eyes met Kenjirou's.

She smiled at him before directing her face back to the camera to flash the camera with the cheeky smile he had grown used to.

“Shirabu-san.”

This time, it was Arisu's small voice who got his attention. The younger Takagi sister plopped beside the couch on the corner and patted the spot beside her, a gesture to invite him to sit beside her.

“I wanted to save my sister, but she won't let me,” Arisu quietly said. “But I wish after today, she could see how loved and cared she is. I hope that is enough reason for her to fight, just as Kourai-san had told her to.”

Both Kenjirou and Arisu watched Hoshiumi, who was involved in an animated conversation with Katarina about shonen manga. Ah, if only Tendou was here. He most certainly would get along well with Katarina.

“Yeah,” Shirabu answered. “I hope so too.”


End file.
